The lawns are still impeccably manicured, and the houses spotless. But after the season seven premiere, the families inside those homes are struggling to wake up from their nightmares.

That’s because the show dropped a couple of doozies on the ladies of Wisteria Lane, and no one got it worse than the Solis family. Bree finally told Gaby that it was Andrew who ran over Carlos’ mother all those years ago, and Carlos discovered that Juanita was switched at birth and that the other family is nowhere to be found. The two desperately kept the giant secrets from each other because, as Gaby said, “Except for this … measly, ignorable blip, our life is perfect. And I won’t let anything change that.”

Back at Bree’s, even the inside of her usually immaculate home ended up in tatters after she learned that Orson has already moved on to another relationship – a mere week after they separated. After noticing a corner of the wall paper peeling and refusing to stick, Bree ripped it all off, leaving her dining room in mess – a mess that hottie contractor Keith (Brian Austin Green) was there to fix.

Things seemed fine for Lynette, save for the family who insisted she still do everything for them as she cared for her newborn. That is, until her college pal Renee (Vanessa Williams) showed up. Renee – who is beyond wealthy and married to a sports star – dissed Lynette’s every accomplishment and pitied her for giving up a successful career.

Even off the lane, things were not going well. The Delfino family’s money situation is so bad that Susan tried to sell the hideous jewelry she created – “It’s wearable art!” she insisted – to her friends, while Mike seriously considered taking a job on an oil rig in Alaska to make ends meet. Desperate to keep him by her side, Susan agreed to join in her landlady’s business venture – and do housework in lingerie for an adult website called Va-Va-Va-Broom.

As for Paul Young, he may be out of jail and living in Susan’s house on Wisteria Lane, but if his no-longer-dead victim Felicia has anything to say about it from behind bars, he’s got something worse than a nightmare coming to him.

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